How to be with people with depressive disorder? This is one of the most frequently asked questions. What should we do? What should we avoid? What should be concerned about talking with people with depressive this order? Which words we should use or which we should avoid using? This leads to this article in Principle in being with People with Depressive Disorder.
Firstly, we should observe their change in behaviors whether they are having 4-5 signs of depression in the past 2 weeks by these 9 following items:
1. Having obvious slower reaction, and slower movement.
2. Having sleep problems such as sleeping too much or too long, having insomnia which can see by sleepiness, yawning, drowsiness while working, or they might have dark circles under their eyes or hollow eyes from lack of sleep.
3. Often blame themselves. Find themselves a failure, worthless, lack potential, or speaking negatively of themselves.
4. Absent-minded, cannot concentrate, have slower decisions, and cannot focus on what they do for long.
5. Seem to be weary, weaker, tired, and have less energy than before.
6. Having unstable emotions, easy to be angry or sad, emotionally sensitive, and cry for no reason. These signs may be seen all day or someday.
7. Seem to feel like everything is boring, doesn’t feel like doing anything, and easy to get bored.
Seem to not enjoy or be amused by things they used to enjoy.
8. Lost or having too much appetite which can be seen by losing weight or gaining weight, but if they intend to lose or gain weight, they are not fit for this sign of depression.
9. Often mention and think about death, and said that it would be great if they just disappear. Starting to admonish and entrust something to someone.
If you find people around you having these signs, maybe you should start by talking about how they feel. Do they have anything they want to talk about? After that, start using the “Close Mouth, Open Ears” technique. Let them express what is in their mind. Your job is to listen attentively without judging. Try to listen to what they want to communicate to you.
What word should you use if you want to encourage them? I would like to recommend some pleasant words for example.
– You’re always important to me.
– To me, you matter.
– You’re not alone
– I will always be by your side.
– Can I hug you?
– Keep holding on.
– Shall we go taking a walk?
– We’ll overcome this together.
– I don’t know how bad you are feeling, but I’ll be grateful to understand.
– You’re just sad. Everyone can be sad.
– I’ll always love you no matter what.
– I see you’re trying your best. If you need any help, you can ask me.
– Things will get better soon.
Those are good examples. Now, I would like to give you some words you should beware of or avoid using with people with depressive disorder.
– Keep on fighting.
– Don’t overthink.
– Try seeing things positively.
– If you don’t want to be sad, you should stop thinking.
– Never mind. This will pass.
– How long will you be sad?
– Why are you not getting over it yet?
– I understand how you feel. I used to feel like this as well.
– Stop being sad.
– This is only all in your head.
– Stay calm. Everyone has been in this state.
– You’re worthy. Why you are having that thought?
– I can’t help you.
– What’s your problem? Why haven’t you got better already?
– You should be more focused. You’ve been like this for too long.
– I don’t like you being like this.
– Don’t you know some people are doing worse than you?
– Stop crying. What’s the point of crying?
– You should try harder. Why can’t you do this?
Some words seem to be encouraging, but they put pressure on the listener and make them feel blamed for their depression. The most important thing is the act to show your goodwill, care, and generosity. You should be with them and listen to them without judging what they are facing. Also, you should be careful of the acts that make you seem relegated or disgusted. Do not use words that put pressure, expectation, or blame on them. Talking to them with the “Close Mouth, Open Ears” technique. Don’t show boredom or irritation. Do not forget to have them take the medicine they got from the doctor correctly and invite them to do exercise or take quality time together such as walking in the park or going to the spa or mall. You can also invite them to do hobbies such as painting, baking, plating, and knitting. Most importantly, do not forget to cheer each other up.
If you need help from professionals, psychologists, or psychiatrists, please feel free to contact iSTRONG.